It’s the most wonderful time of the year…..

.15418439_10155549438783275_3412847077943230020_oDecember the time for reflection, resetting goals and refocusing – well after over indulging over the festive period ! Over the Xmas period last year I sat giggling with a friend in a spa pool about the coming year and we made some ridiculous challenges including worst date…..I have definitely won that one !!

I’m in a period of transition at the moment, 21 days until I finish my current employment, that’s about 13 days left in the office to wind down. Starting my new role in January !! I’m not going to lie I always struggle a bit with transition. I sometimes struggle to focus with closure and look for distractions. Let’s keep moving forwards and not looking back.

2016 has been a pretty amazing year and shocking with Brexit and Trump, natural disasters , celebrity deaths  – I’ve actually lost count it’s been a bad year for losing legends mostly to the evil fecker cancer. Here’s my very Bridget Jones take on 2016

  • Boobs – 2 (Double or nothing) – Distinct improvement on past 4 years !!
  • Operations – 2 (GA curve balled my hair but recovered well)
  • Weddings – 1  (C&S looking wonderful)
  • Funerals – 2 (Sadly both to cancer — fucker)
  • Successful Interviews – 4 (4 out of 4 is pretty damn awesome)
  • Weight lost – 2kg 
  • Weight gained – 2kg (grr)
  • Flights – 8 (4 countries ) (Barcelona, Amsterdam, Warsaw, Marrakech)
  • Missed trips – 2 (4 flights) (Olso, Geneva)
  • Break ups – 2 (ENOUGH SAID !!)
  • Make ups -2
  • Dates – kinda lost count on this too !

Valuable Lessons Learnt this year…..

  • That you can achieve anything you put your mind on (mind over matter)
  • That you need to express yourself clearly to be understood and to understand
  • That I am too hasty and impulsive at times
  • That any extreme emotion validates you are alive and living
  • That I take too long at times when working through things and processing them properly to let them go fully.
  • That over thinking and assumptions are bad for your health
  • That you can desperately hang on to the thought of someone well past it’s sell by date . This is like having an emotional ghost haunt you – let it go !!
  • That you can love the idea of someone but not the real person (that they hide from you )
  • That you have to take risks and chances in every aspect of your life
  • That it’s better to take a risk and fail than wonder if you should have tried something
  • That it’s exciting to try new things, visit new places, taste new foods, dance new steps.
  • That you are truly alive outside of your comfort zone
  • That sometimes someone comes along to point you in the right direction and get you back on track
  •  That the only way to understand how you behave in relationships or dating is to date

That sometimes you don’t see you are standing still until a hurricane appears and changes things. 2016 has been an amazing year. A year of growth and development. I started the year so positive, hopeful but also fearful that my surgery wouldn’t be successful. I don’t think I truly appreciated what I had lost until I was restored. Rebalanced. My confidence has soared, and I am so grateful for the opportunities I have created and received as a result.

I’ve let go of the guy I had renting space in my head for so long. I also accept it took the time it needed to for that to happen, there’s no point saying it took too long. It is what it is. I tried to shift our ‘relationship’ into a ‘friendship’ but realised that was a myth too. Sometimes you just have to let it go.

I caught feelings for a new guy – that was kind of scary and full of turbulence as I wavered here and there, soaring high and dropping low with rusty emotions. I wore vulnerability over my clothes and felt the weird and wonderful emotions that come with developing emotional attachment. I felt the difference of someone being interested in your whole well being and appreciated the emotional support and encouragement.  I feel that I’ve come out of the other side of this to a more stable balance. I’ve grown.

I’ve started to love me more, and consider what I want, what I expect, and deserve. I’m starting to improve how I communicate this and express myself . Something to work on still. I’m valuing and appreciating myself more. Working on self worth and after a few wobbles am not selling myself short in any capacity. You have to be clear of your value of what you will and won’t accept !!

I’ve had to let go of some of the balls I juggle, and I’m trying not to replace them when i let them go. I’ve always been a person that fills my time, at times this year I’ve overstretched myself and overcommitted. I’m streamlining in preparation for 2017.

My top 5 priorities for 2017

  1. Continued good health (with improved diet, exercise and rest in balance)
  2. Starting new role within local community
  3. Getting Fia and Ty through their respective academic challenges
  4. Continuing to travel 6 countries in 2017
  5. Successful symmetry surgery and recovery
  6. (My bonus …..to love and be loved

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