When is enough, enough ?
When do we call time on a person and say I can’t do this anymore ?
I was having a conversation with a friend today about truth and lies after an unpleasant situation she found herself in. How easy it is to be deceived and how trust is so hard to find. Obviously after every lie we dust ourselves down and continue, because if you don’t, what then ? There are levels of deceit and levels of tolerance. We might accept more from an individual and less from another.
Some people lie to protect your feelings, or hide the truth. Some people use little ‘white’ lies in almost every interaction rather than admit their responsibility. If you tell a lot of white lies does this predispose you to bigger lies ?
The biggest lies are the ones we tell ourselves. Sometimes we ignore the very obvious gut feelings we have. Like my friend said earlier, it’s really hard to ignore the physical wrench of a gut feeling. You can lie or deny to yourself all you want but that is screaming at you to listen, proceed with caution, stop and think.
Being an adult is ridiculously complex. We find ourselves compromising ourselves at times, especially if we are avoiding conflict or want a drama free life. Sometimes we accept people’s lies as we really, really want to believe they are who we first thought they were. We want an escape from something so lose ourselves in another person’s false projection of themselves. I wonder if this is why some women are conned out of vast money by men they fall in love with. They ignored the gut feelings that were screaming, stop cancel that bank payment.
Lies hurt though, as does truth…My friend questioned earlier whether sometimes you should let it slide, rather than be alone. Hmmm. I considered this. The thing about accepting a lie, is that the person lying can become confident in their lies and repeat them. I have a three strikes and out motto, as feel any more and you destroy your sense of self. If I feel lied to and I let it slide, my insides are in turmoil, it maybe that I accepted it but I’m almost on tenterhooks for them to slip up again, desperate to validate myself I wasn’t crazy. My overthinking mind will go into overdrive.
So my riddle me this, riddle me that mind couldn’t find the right answer to give my friend. I weighed the pros and cons and the best advice was sleep on it, see what answer the morning brings.